1st year of Grad School Recap

So it appears I've been neglecting my blog.. for a while. And by a while, I mean almost a whole year. Oops. I've been meaning to write in it, but so much time had elapsed that I just figured I would wait it out until I was completely done with my first year of grad school. And that day comes tomorrow, as I finish my last day of student teaching.

Needless to say, a lot has happened in the gap of time from my last blog post to now. I'm living in a new apartment, I am in a new relationship ("new" as in about 6.5 months new), and I have a new job lined up for next year. A "big person" job, teaching math at Animo Locke 2 High School.

A lot has happened in my first year in graduate school, but I feel like I haven't changed too much, in the sense that at my core, I am pretty much the same person. By the time we're this old, most people have a pretty strongly established core, right? I do, however, feel like I have gained some new perspectives, acquired some new skills, and perhaps most importantly, learned some new things about myself. How exactly do you learn new things about yourself? Well, it's not so much learning, as it is realizing what was there all along, and bringing it into your consciousness. It only took a couple weeks of student teaching for me to realize what my strengths and weaknesses as a teacher, and there are definitely a lot of weaknesses. So much so, that there were definitely a few points in the year where I seriously questioned my decision to become a teacher. Where I almost gave it all up for a career that would be less stressful and depressing. For a good while, I was coming home feeling defeated everyday, and it was really affecting my mood.

Luckily for me, along with recognizing my weaknesses, I also realized another thing: that I am very critical of myself. That I need to give myself a chance to get better at this before I call it quits. That I'm not going to be a super great social justice teacher my first year. That I need to rely and trust other people to help get me through the hard times. All these things are, of course, easier said than done. But at least I am aware of them, and that is a good first step. Now if only I can remember them...

And so in a little over one month, I will begin my first year as a "real" teacher, in addition to completing my second year of my Master's Program. This has all the makings to be one of the most challenging and testing years of my life; fortunately, I have people I can depend on to see me through it. Here's to a new chapter, a new summer vacation, and a new blog post.